When I sat down and opened my Bible and journal this afternoon to continue to study this portion of verse 3 of 1st Thessalonians, I cringed. Just the topic- loving deeds, was enough to hit rewind on my day and I saw how I'd spent most of the morning and early afternoon doing everything but loving deeds. I suppose I should have done this study in the morning. It probably would have changed the course of my morning. BUT, that's the cool thing about grace. I asked for forgiveness for my chaos this morning and it's over with now. So, anyways, back to the study...
I started the same way this time as I did yesterday- with the definitions of the two words- Loving- adj., feeling or showing love, warmly affectionate, fond. Deeds- noun, an act or gesture, especially as illustrative of intentions, one's character, or the like. So, loving deeds are affectionate acts or gestures that illustrate my intentions and character. Ok, so honestly, once I came up with that definition I thought... Oh, great. I get a little tense when the words character and intention are thrown around. I mean, those aren't words to take lightly. My next question was what are my daily intentions? What do I hope to accomplish (from an eternal perspective) on a daily basis. This was my list: 1. To instruct my children with biblical wisdom and point them to Jesus. 2. To live a life that points anyone I come in contact with to Jesus. 3. To display grace and live in obedience to scripture. After all this I decided that I was feeling like a lot of this was just words on a page. I wasn't really feel like God was revealing his true application for my life through just the lists I was making. I stopped what I was doing and started praying again, in honesty, that I felt muddled. And because God is faithful, it didn't take long and this is what He gave me. Loving deeds are the practical steps to faithful work. Faithful work is the sign on the building, the loving deeds run the business. I can't have successful faithful work without loving deeds. Once I got that down I asked myself- What does this look like in my life? - By knowing what love looks like- learning God's character. The more I study something, the better I know it. The better I know it, the easier it is to emulate it. The more I emulate it the easier it becomes to do it naturally. - By training/exercising love in my own life. Everything takes work. I mean seriously, everything. If it doesn't take work it's probably too good to be true. And loving deeds are no different. You just have to keep doing it. Keep working at it. Keep doing it. Keep working at it. The more you do it, the easier it will become. - By searching out opportunities to exercise love. In the literal sense of the word exercise, it normally doesn't happen naturally. You have to make time to run, to go to the gym, to do zumba. Same thing with loving deeds. Always be looking for a way to show Christ's love to someone. -Listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. And this is where I scored a big fat zero this morning. In the middle of being all bent out of shape with my kids, I was hearing the Holy Spirit say... Jessica, there's a better way to handle this. Jessica, Jessica, Jessica. But, I was frustrated enough, upset enough, mad enough that I brushed it aside and justified my anger. DON'T DO THAT. Listen for that prompting. AND OBEY IT! - Setting myself aside. This should actually be #1. Because this is the root of the problem. I can't have truely loving deeds towards others when I'm focused on myself. Are you loving deeds setting up shop under your Faithful Work sign or is there and empty building that needs a business running inside it? The last and final phrase from verse 3 that stuck out to me was "Enduring Hope". I believe that Faithful Work is the business name, Loving Deeds is the work, and Enduring Hope is the outcome. But, you can't have one without the others. I'll touch on enduring hope next, but until then, I'm going to make a point to get my business of loving deeds running smoothly under may faithful works sign! Happy Thursday!
0 Comments
So I'm in that time between book Bible studies. Our Ladies Bible study finished 2 weeks ago and right now, nothing is on the calendar until the first of the year. I thought about starting another book study on my own and decided instead that I'd choose a book of the Bible to study. Just me, God, my Bible, a pen, and my journal. I felt a tad overwhelmed to begin with, because I didn't want to play Bible roulette, so I decided to pray about what book God wanted me to go through. After a minute of just listening, I was positive of the fact that God was giving me 1 Thessalonians. Now, I've read through this book probably 30 times. But I've never sat down with pen in hand and waited for God to bring the words to life. Well, wouldn't you know, I got about 3 verses in and here it came...
As we pray to our God and Father about you, we think of your faithful work, your loving deeds, and the enduring hope you have because of our Lord Jesus Christ.- 1 Thes 1:3. Now, maybe you think that's a random verse to stick out to me, but I grabbed my journal immediately and wrote these 3 phrases down... Faithful Work Loving Deeds Enduring Hope I decided to take these each one by one and do a little digging. So, here's parts of what I recorded in my journal about Faithful Work. I decided to start with the actual definitions of the words... Faith- Noun, confidence or trust in a person or thing Work- Noun, exertion or effort directed to produce or accomplish something; labor; toil. So, confidence in God motivates us. It motivates us to exert effort to accomplish something. My next question was- What confidences do we have in God? I know the list is extensive, but I'm just going to add what I wrote down in my journal. He will never leave us. He will never forsake us. We have hope. We have a future. He will always lead us. He will always love us. He is for us. He wastes nothing. Having these assurances, how are we motivated to work towards accomplishing eternal goals? A few of my personal observations were... 1. He will be with us and provide for us when we are serving Him. 2. We can move with courage knowing we will be successful in our work for Him.( Now let me add a little to this one- Am I saying everything we do will be successful? No. Back to the He wastes nothing. If God calls us to do/try something and we don't succed, does that mean all is lost? Absolutey not. That means God is doing something we can't see behind the scenes. Hold tight, there's a plan we don't see. ) 3. If God leads us to something we can keep walking knowing he brought us there no matter how dark or unclear the path. 4. Searching out the things of God is never a waste of our time and energy. So, once I had all those written down, I asked myself... What does this mean for me? Here's a few of the things I concluded... - I need to to seek out God's will even if it doesn't seem like He's leading me to the right thing. (what I want) - Everything means something. Every step has had a purpose. God won't discard that purpose and it will all be used for His good. (Amen to that!) Perhaps this seems a little disjointed, mostly personal to me, a little more studyish, and lots of information compared to usual, but this is what I've deducted from this..... My faithful work is this- Being assured of God's promises and using them as motivation to do what God has called me to do. Right now, my calling is to be the best wife and mother I can be. To love my husband, to be his helper, and to point him towards the cross. To love my children, to instruct them with biblical instruction, to teach them grace and humility, and to lead them to the cross every day. To show them who Jesus is. Knowing that God is for me, that he has a plan for me, and that he wastes nothing is motivation to live day in and day out knowing that folding laundry, doing dishes, breaking up sister fights, praying for graceful responses to my husband, though they seem mundane and unimportant- they are not. Because it is my faithful work. What are you doing today, this week, this month, in this season of your life that is your faithful work? Are you like me- loving your husband, raising your children, keeping your home? Perhaps it's opposite of that. Whatever it is, I encourage you to figure out what your faithful work is, and do it well. If there is one thing I've learned in a major way over the last 6 years is that I'm selfish. Extremely selfish. Like, sickeningly selfish. I'm sure if you asked anyone in my life to to tell you the absolute worst thing about me, this is what they would say. I seek to be happy, fulfilled, to have purpose, to be complete. However I can accomplish that for myself, that's what I do. Knowing how this impacts my life on a daily basis, how it impacts my family and my friends, majority of the time I pray this prayer about 23984203984 times a day...
Lord, empty me of myself. I was doing that same thing again today and I got a funny picture in my head. It was like I was a God's little doll but I was filled with water and there was a small plug on the bottom of my foot. This mental picture kind of made me laugh for a minute, but then these words impressed themselves on my heart. Here's what I wrote in my journal... When I lay myself down at the foot of the cross, God opens the plug and I drain out. For a minute I grieve the loss of those things that keep me selfish. The things that make "me". Then I realize that God is beginning to pour new life into me. I am still me. He created me after all, but his life inside of me, I am better. I see with his eyes. I use his hands for the things I do and I use his feet for the places I go. I smile his smile and I love with his love. Before I know it, I can't see me. All I see is who I became after I was emptied of myself and filled with him. And I am happy. I am fulfilled. I have purpose. I am complete. Man how I want that to be true in my life. I want my happiness and fulfillment to come from being filled with him and being like him instead of being like me. I've chased, grabbed, scratched at, and practically stolen things that I thought would bring me happiness and fulfillment. I've turned dead end corners to find purpose. I've made hurtful dangerous decisions to feel complete. Lord, empty me of myself. Fill me with you. Well, would you believe I'm creating my menu as I type this. This weekend was a bit crazy so this is the first time I've had to sit down and figure the week out. This is our pantry week, money is tight, so I'll be making as much as I can with what we've got in our pantry and freezer. Thankfully, we've got a ton of stocked up meat! We really have almost nothing going this week, so meals should be easy to get prepared. Monday- Chick fil A. Tonight our church is getting together for a fundraiser at our local Chick fil A. Yay for good food, church family, and not having to cook! Tuesday- Ranch Pork with mashed potatoes. Wednesday- Cowboy Meatloaf Thursday- Chili Friday- Date Night! Aaron and I will be eating out to celebrate my birthday a little late and the girls will probably have pizza with the babysitter. Verse of the Week I've said it before and I'll say it again- "Follow Your Heart" is the worst advice you can give anyone.
And unfortunately, I'm one of those people who loses sight of that very easily. I've come to understand that because I'm a sinful fallen person, I believe the "thorn in my side" is that my emotional being will always struggle to submit to my spiritual being. I'll forever have an internal war. I tend to lead with what I feel instead of what I know God's truth is. And that has always and will always lead me into the wrong things as long as I allow it to. I saw something yesterday and seriously, it was like a snap back into reality. I saw a facebook status that said- " Just because you feel it doesn't mean it's real". HELLO! That snapped me right out of the emotionally lead path I was walking down. So, I chose this as the verse of the week as a reminder to myself! Don't let your heart lead you this week! Lead with God's truth and your heart will follow! Happy Monday! Our Women's Bible Study at church is going through the book Stronger by Angela Thomas. Again, it's right what I needed when I needed it. God is good like that. Anyways, today, I wanted to share with you a few key things out of the book that really struck me. The specific week theme is God is stronger than my overwhelming life. The day subject is Unrealistic Expectations- Mine and Theirs. She starts out by describing her perfect picture of life then asks "Do you have a magazine dream?" I almost laughed at that question. It took me about .5 seconds to answer it and describe in detail my answer. Then, she asks "Does any of this resemble dreams you have or still hold onto?" Of course, my answer was yes. Here's her response... If we take all our dreamy, unrealistic expectations and add the unrealistic expectations from the people we love, we create a dangerous concoction: a recipe for an overwhelming, disappointing life. After all, burnout comes not from work, but from not achieving expectations. (pg 102) Ouch. Double Ouch. And basically the last year of my life in 2 sentences. Aaron and I are about to enter our 6th year of marriage. I can honestly say that I spent year 1-5.2 expecting my magazine life. I held (and still do) hold Aaron to an expectation of creating my happiness. Because of that, I let bitterness and discouragement destroy my marriage. I have set a standard for my kids that's unrealistic and because of that, I have been a hard and angry mother. Angela goes onto to say... Have you expected too much of yourself- to be the best mom, best daughter, best wife, best student, best friend, best employee, best follower of Christ? Amen to that! Romans 12:2 tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our mind. We have to renew our expectations and our standards with the fact that- Only God is perfect. No other person or myself can be or do what we need God to do in our life. And the truth of this is... God has already done what we need. When he died on the cross, he offered us salvation. Grace that covered our shortcomings, our faults, our unrealistic expectations. If we allow that truth to renew our mind, we will be set free of living a life measured by our expectations. Angela challenges us with this... Who needs to be let off the hook today? Your husband? A wayward child? You and your high expectations? Make a list of the names. Now make this declaration for each name you have written: Man, making that list for me was mentally and emotionally exhausting. Not because I had to come up with names for the list, but because my list ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would be. Once I started thinking, I came up with quite a few people that I've held to a higher standard that I should have been. And the truth is, it's easy to recite that declaration. It's easy to say those words- It's the action behind those words that is hard.
For me, that's a declaration I will have to make a few times a day, every day, until my mind is renewed in the truth that only God is perfect and no other person on this planet, including myself, will live up to my perfect expectation. And what does that mean for my life? It means this... When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.- Luke 12:48b We are given grace freely, which means that we need to extend grace in return. Obviously, God does not need our grace, but others do. If you've followed my blog for a time, you know that over the last 10 months, God has revealed more to me about His grace than ever before. And the more I realize how God's grace applies to my life, I realize that if I'm going to live Christlike, I have to live out grace to others. Today, let's make a point to let others off the hook. Let's let ourselves off the hook. And let's let our minds be transformed. Only God is perfect. And because He's extended undeserved grace to us, we need to live a life of extended grace to others! If you asked me 10 years ago to scale from 1 to 10 the amount of fear in my life, the number probably would have been close to 3. If you were to sit me down today and ask the same question, I'd say the number would probably be 8. Wow. What a week last week ended up being. Some of you might have noticed that I disappeared from blog land. Well, that's because on Wednesday night, my oldest daughter Emmy was admitted to the hospital with what the Dr's thought might be viral meningitis. Thankfully, it was only an abscess in her neck that they've been able to treat with heavy antibiotics. But, we were in the hospital for 2 days. We've been laying low since then. I don't have a menu planned because we're leaving for my folks in the morning. I probably won't be blogging much or at all over the next few days.
If you haven't heard, or don't follow national news, or even if you have heard- there was a bus crash here in Indy on Saturday. The accident happened about 4 miles from our house. It was a youth group from a local church on their way home from camp. 3 of the adult chaperons were killed, including the youth pastor and his pregnant wife. The other lady was with the group because she wanted her special needs son to be able to experience camp. After word of the accident got out, I realized that there was some connection from old friends from my high school in MI which just made the grief even deeper. My heart is so heavy for the families and teens that experienced such trauma in the accident. Then Sunday morning we found out that a very influential man in my husbands life went to meet Jesus in his sleep on Sat night. He's the grandfather of our pastor and a man that Aaron has looked up to for almost 15 years. Needless to say, my grief ran even deeper. Although, we rejoice knowing that he's with the Lord. There really is no other place that he wanted to be. He lived his life to meet Jesus, and he has won the race. I don't doubt for a minute that Jesus was waiting for him at the gate with a big embrace and Brother Barney heard "Well done, good and faithful servant." Needless to say, my soul has felt weary. It's been on drain mode the last few days between a hospital stay, tragic death, and loss of a dear friend. But God is faithful y'all. Faithful beyond what we can imagine. I want to share a story with you that I heard last night. It's not really related to any of this, but it proves that God is good. It brought me to tears last night and was salve to this tired, torn up, ragged soul... At a small church in southern Illinois, there was a little boy named Noah. He was 4 years old. He as antisocial, he could wreak havoc on any social gathering, and in 4 years, he'd never spoken a word. The night before his parents were going to take him to see a specialist, there was a special visitor from the International House of Prayer in Columbia at his church. Noah's parents asked that she would pray over him. They brought him up front and she laid hands on him as well as many others in the church. They prayed and the service went on. After service the parents thanked the Pastor from Columbia for praying over him and went home. On the way home, sitting in his car seat in the back of the car, Noah's parents heard this from a little 4 yr old mouth- "Noah feels better now." Oh man, chills and tears just typing it out again. God is good. We may not understand his ways. We can't. It's physically impossible for us to understand God's will. We can't wrap our minds around it. But, when we can't understand His will, we can trust his heart. Because we know God is good. And we know that his ways are not our ways. If you're dealing with a circumstance or situation today and you just don't get it. If you're tired and soul worn, if you're waiting for God's healing- trust in who God is. He is good and he loves you. He wants what's best for you. Sometimes getting there requires things to happen that we feel is totally opposite of God's character, but remain steadfast. Happy Monday! I follow lots of blogs on all sorts of subjects. Running, hair and makeup, decorating, parenting, faith, DIY, marriage, fashion- you name it, I read it. There are so many amazing blogs out there. So many talented people. People with knowledge and influence and a story to share. And I'm sure there is 1 thing that most bloggers might agree with...
Blogging is hard. I've been really dealing with this blog. As I've said before, I feel like this is something that God led me to. I feel like on a regular basis He prompts me with things to share. There are times when I sit down and write an entire blog in about 2 mins flat and have no idea where it all came from when I'm done. And it even kinda makes sense. I'd be interested to see the numbers on exactly how many (active) blogs there are through out the world. I'm sure the number would be astronomical. Which is awesome. But it's also hard. It's like trying to be the one light blue jelly bean in a bowl of cobalt. I struggle with trusting that there is a reason I do this. I struggle with knowing that God has a purpose for this blog. I struggle with knowing that I'm probably in the C- category of faith bloggers. I don't ever feel particularly wise on most subjects. I don't really know deep theological truths. I don't have letters behind my name that match diplomas hanging on an office wall somewhere. In fact, my office is usually the left cushion of my couch whenever I can steal a few minutes to type something up. I don't really know how to network, and what I do know, I find uncomfortable and out of my comfort zone. I dislike "selling myself". I worry that I annoy my Facebook friends with constant blog posts. They didn't agree to be my "friend" to have their walls spammed by Definitely.Maybe. I'm a terrible speller and a grammatical failure (And I know that at least 2 of my previous English teachers have at one point read this blog- Eek!). I honestly have no recollection on how to use a semi colon. But. Every time I post something I pray that at least 1 person "gets it". And I remind myself that what I do isn't for 20,000 hits or likes on the blog Facebook page. It isn't about comment after comment on a post. It's about being obedient and just putting it out there. Because, I do believe that when God impresses something on me, it is for someone. Even just one someone. But I want you to know that the random messages, or comments, or words of encouragement are like putting fresh batteries in a flashlight. They seem to come just at the right time. I find my energy, enthusiasm, whatever you want to call it receding, and suddenly someone shares their heart with me. Thank you for that. It makes being obedient a little easier. Someday I hope that maybe I will have 20,000 hits and facebook likes. I do hope that someday I'll have actual "office hours" even if it's just in a home office. Maybe someday I can be a featured blogger on some big website, or a speaker at a blogging conference. And dare I hope that someday I'll get a nice camera so my pictures aren't sub par. But if not, that's ok. Because it's not about that. I continue to pray that this meager blog touches someone. I pray that God continues to grow me through it. And mostly, I continue to pray that this page, this computer, these fingers typing on these keys will always always be just a means to an end. The end being you knowing how much God loves you and how much he wants to know you. Happy Wednesday! I'm feeling weary today. The list of energy suckers feels endless, from allergies, to burdens of family and friends, to my own desire to see God's next step in our lives. I've got lots going on today, but I'm going to make a conscious effort to rest. I'm going to rest emotionally, spiritually, and (hopefully) physically.
When I start to worry about when and where God is leading our family, I'll choose to rest in his wisdom and faithfulness to me and my family. When I start feeling down about the many needs of those I love, I will rest in his wisdom and his faithfulness to them too. And when I feel physically tired, I'll thank him for the 12 oz of caffeinated goodness in my coffee cup. Are you feeling weary today, too? Rest in God. He promises to be our help. Stand (or lay) on that! Over the last few months as Aaron and I have been praying about and preparing for a possible new chapter in our lives, I've come face to face with a spiritual immaturity that I didn't even know I had. And maybe that's not the right words for it, maybe problem is the right word, but that doesn't change the issue. I'm a people pleaser. I always have been. No, scratch that. It has increased 10 fold in my 2nd decade of life. For some reason, my 20's has been about doing and being what I thought every other person in life wanted and expected of me. My marriage had to be what others expected. I had to have perfect babies and raise them how everyone else says I should. I have to say all the right things, do all the right things, and never leave my house with a hair out of place. And I most certainly cannot come to God a total mess. And the funny thing is... the last 10 years of my life have been the total opposite. Behind the closed doors of our home there has been raging chaos. Marital chaos, parenting chaos, chaos in our ministry, and internal and spiritual chaos inside myself. A few months ago I had a total God moment. I was praying about something and suddenly it dawned on me- all I had ever done was try and make myself good enough for God. I had no concept of what grace was. I'd grown up in the church and the term was familiar and rolled off my tongue easily, but I certainly don't understand it and don't know how it applies to my life. Not long after that I came across a book called Christ In the Chaos: How the Gospel Changes Motherhood. In the books she was saying things like... Grace is God's declaration to a believer that she can never disappoint him...My God will never say, "You've done this a thousand times, and I'm through with you. "I have been adopted into the family of God and given the perfect righteousness of Jesus, so God looks at me, and says, "That's her! That's my daughter. Isn't she so beautiful and perfect?" Grace tells me I can royally mess things up and am still loved. What?! That blew my mind. It was then that I realized that me trying to be a perfectionist in my relationship with God meant nothing. God won't be disappointed or upset with me when I mess up. He's happy with me when I do Godly Christlike things. And trying to maintain a fake "perfect" lifestyle isn't one of those Godly things. Ok, so hear me on this one... does this mean I suddenly understand the depths of God's love and the exact implications of God's grace in my life? Absolutely not. I'm just starting to understand a fraction of all of this. Does it mean that I'm free of the burden of the perfectionist lifestyle and live every day to it's fullest God pleasing potential? Nope. But it's getting easier. One of my favorite songs of all time is In Christ Alone. It's funny how was you grow/change/age, songs that you've known for a long time suddenly take on new meanings and new truths stick out to you. I had this song stuck in my head a few weeks ago and as I was humming it, suddenly I realized the sweet truth of the 2nd verse. Something I'd never thought about before.... What love and peace I've experienced as God has stilled my fears about not being good enough and as I've stopped trying so hard to be good enough for him to love me. If you experience the same feelings and frustrations, I urge you to ask God to deepen your understanding of his love and grace. What freedom there is in knowing. (And I'm just grazing the surface!)
|
HEY, I'M JESSICA!
Christian. Wife. Mommy. Daughter. Pastor. Friend. Saved.Redeemed. Beloved.
Archives
August 2021
Categories
All
|